What you see is what you get. I think this image speaks for itself. Life is not fair. You can work out 4-5 times per week for months on end, you can run for miles, you can watch what you eat (and f it up, too) but you can’t change everything. What do people who do not know me see when they look at me? A fat girl. What do I see when I look in the mirror? 8 times out of 10, a fat girl. 2 times out of 10 I might see all of the hard work I’ve put into reshaping this worn out body, this worn out womb. I might see this holder of five children as something to accept. I doubt I will ever see it as something beautiful. It’s not. But, maybe one day when it’s 6 sizes smaller, I’ll be more at peace with myself and the pendulum will shift.
This is my “Soulful Saturday” theme contribution for the week.
sentient marrow 
I hear ya- I think these thoughts too when I look at my “baby bag”, when the scale is stuck at +25 for 8 months no matter what I do and now a medication is surely going to increase that, when I strive to look like an athlete and realize this body is never going to conform to that image. Worth must come from within- that’s my new mantra. Its a daily exercise to teach myself to believe it
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