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Another Day

Another day passes and I haven’t done anything creative… haven’t written, haven’t drawn.

Another day passes and I have numbed myself with Facebook and silly games. Why?

Another day passes and I dream about my son moving back home with his girlfriend and I try to plan for their arrival.

Another day passes and I sit at the desk at the library and visit the blogs of a writer I used to follow and find that she is only 2 years younger than me and is living out the kind of dreams I envision for myself.

Another day passes.

Goodbye Yellow Caboose

Goodbye Yellow Caboose

Goodbye Yellow Caboose
Waiting for the end
Waiting with patience
Reminder of childhood
Reminder of life ever fleeting

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To temper my thoughts, a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

A PSALM OF LIFE

WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN
SAID TO THE PSALMIST

TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream ! —
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real ! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way ;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant !
Let the dead Past bury its dead !
Act,— act in the living Present !
Heart within, and God o’erhead !

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate ;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

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+Return to Soul, Return to Body

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Today I returned to my favorite park and walked. A simple act, walking. A simple remembrance of what running and walking in nature, in this park mean to me. A return to commune with God that comes as easily as breathing, as easily as looking over and seeing a tiny blue dragonfly on the brush beside the path. I’ve put off returning to running and walking because I tore a ligament in my foot a couple months ago. I can put it off no longer. The physical pain is worth the exchange of spiritual energy and renewal. The bitter balances the sweet.

 

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+45 Soulful Saturday: Week 7

+45 Soulful Saturday

When I started this project, I truly thought I’d be able to find the time to do something creative each day, no matter how small that thing was. This task has proven more difficult than I imagined. I either need to recommit myself and try harder or accept the fact that it may only be a weekly thing. With that said, I am leaning toward the former.

This week’s theme is masquerade. Go, create. Come back here and share with a link.

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+30 Struggle

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The body, the flesh part of this journey of mine, has been making me crazy lately. Three times a week I weigh myself and take a picture of the scale to send to my trainer. For the past 3 months, I’ve been gaining and losing the same eight pounds. Overall, I’ve lost about 55 pounds with most of them coming off when starting a food plan with my trainer on June 22, 2012. Most weeks I do zumba, run, lift weights or do boot camp at least 4-5 times per week and sometimes more than once per day. I’m becoming weary. I’ve been really angry about food for the past month, at least. I’ve been struggling to limit my carb and sugar intake. Seeing that number on the scale at the beginning of the day can dictate the rest of my day. Lower number, happier me which leads to the ability to make better choices. Higher number, pissy me which leads to less motivation and will power. I am at this odd halfway mark stuck in my own personal temporal loop. Why can’t my body comply to shedding a few more pounds without having to limit my food as much? Why do I have to workout so much just to maintain what I have already lost? All that to say, I saw this image and quote from Muhammed Ali this week on Facebook resonated with my soul. I feel that way. I have something in common with Muhammed Ali. 

 

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+27 Nestled in bed

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The best intentions led to working out in the morning followed by a very, very long nap nestled between my flannel snowflake sheets and quilt and knit in on the side by my two puppies.

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+26 A return

Today was spent preparing for my husband’s return from a business trip. I wish I could say I did something creative today, but instead I cleaned and wasted far too much time on facebook.

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+20 Throwaway day or not

Yesterday was a crap day. What can I say? Figuring out sales tax for the quarter after spending every last cent in our bank account and our sales tax savings account to replace the heater equals one unhappy woman. Yes, I am thankful the money was in the account to use, but I am now left with one whopping unpaid bill. I’ve seen God’s hand at work in this whole process, so I have to continue to hope that He will provide. Having a community of friend’s around us meeting our needs is both humbling and inspiring. I am thankful, so I guess this wasn’t a throwaway day afterall. 

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